I called myself a Christian for 10 years. I told people I was “religious”. I tried to go to church, read my bible, and do all the Christian things I was supposed to do after saying the sinner’s prayer at the alter. But I was still the same.
I may have heard the Gospel and knew that Jesus was the answer to all of my brokenness, but I surely had never responded to it with faith. I didn’t trust Him with my life one bit, and I knew I didn’t. That made me angry because I just wanted God to walk with me while I still kept control of my life, and He showed me He wouldn’t.
God doesn’t take agreements; He accepts your heart… when you offer all of it.
On a night in July 2016, I let go of every hold I’ve ever had on my life, in full and genuine surrender, and waited in a free fall. I ended up in the arms of a Jesus who didn’t condemn me but who showered me with grace, compassion, and peace. I had run from him for so long, and he did not turn away from me or put his finger in my face when I finally gave my life to him. But instead He said, “I have so much to show you…”
There is no denying the work of the Lord in my life. After that night, I actually understood the Bible for the first time and the words sunk into my barren soul. I now craved a relationship with Him, not out of obligation or for what He could do for me, but because I knew that He was the only thing worth pursuing. How could I not love Him after He had loved me even though I pushed Him away for so long?
It terrifies me that I thought I was going to heaven prior to last summer. I could never defend my faith to people before because I had never genuinely trusted in Christ, truly repented of my sin, and turned from my old way of living. All the changes that have occurred in me are due to the Spirit’s power changing my affections and giving me strength. I’m here to tell you not to be overly confident in your salvation if you find yourself unable to explain any personal experience that shows our Lord and Savior changing your heart and working in your life.
My only prayer is that this blog is an encouragement to believers, an awakening to those who may have strayed, and a light to the lost.
May you come to know our Savior that loved you so much that He bore the weight of all of YOUR sin, suffered an unimaginable death, and who rose again. All so that you may accept Him and carry out the works He planned for you to do to bring His name glory. Even though, He knows that you are fallen and will still mess up. Yet, He takes your face and looks at you with genuine, heartfelt love.
This love is something that no one else can give you. This love will never let you down. This love will never stop forgiving you. This love did this because you were worth it all.
Where will you be spending eternity after you take your last breath here? There are only two places. You make the choice.
“May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” Galatians 6:14